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Sep. 9th, 2010 08:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
squeefulfishToday is being a very emotional day. I've been welling up with tears all day, sometimes getting to the stage of needing a tissue or to just run away and bawl. I'm relieved and I'm stressed; happy and sad; proud and disappointed. Today was our last ever day together as a class, our last day in college so our pet sociologist could have interesting people talk to us and so there could be a tea party at lunch to celebrate. I didn't feel like celebrating much, I've still got 11 weeks to go. But I'm still going to be in the first group, the first degreed-up midwives in Ireland. Ever.
And that's been tough. Being the first is always hard and I'm glad that that was acknowledged at the speeches at the tea party. We've made things a lot easier for the subsequent years by ironing out the majority of the kinks. I've made some fabulous lifelong friends. Strong, dedicated women who've helped keep me going through the dark days. Our pet sociologist gave us all journals and a wooden pinard. Every time I look at it I start to cry again. It's not sad tears, it's confused tears. And that pinard's not being used, it's going on display as a trophy that I bloody well did it. I couldn't face the drinkies afterwards, being too upset at it being our last day together to fully enjoy it cos I'm a bleedin' eejit sometimes.
Now to just get the next 11 weeks of placement over with, finishing 11 weeks after I was meant to. 11 weeks is nothing compared to a working life but I still get sad when I think that this should have been my last day ever. Last day ever in college will have to do me.
Going off to buy some bikkits and nice coffee now to distract myself from more tears and have a walk round town to try and clear the head a bit before work in the morning.
And that's been tough. Being the first is always hard and I'm glad that that was acknowledged at the speeches at the tea party. We've made things a lot easier for the subsequent years by ironing out the majority of the kinks. I've made some fabulous lifelong friends. Strong, dedicated women who've helped keep me going through the dark days. Our pet sociologist gave us all journals and a wooden pinard. Every time I look at it I start to cry again. It's not sad tears, it's confused tears. And that pinard's not being used, it's going on display as a trophy that I bloody well did it. I couldn't face the drinkies afterwards, being too upset at it being our last day together to fully enjoy it cos I'm a bleedin' eejit sometimes.
Now to just get the next 11 weeks of placement over with, finishing 11 weeks after I was meant to. 11 weeks is nothing compared to a working life but I still get sad when I think that this should have been my last day ever. Last day ever in college will have to do me.
Going off to buy some bikkits and nice coffee now to distract myself from more tears and have a walk round town to try and clear the head a bit before work in the morning.
